Late last night, in
a moment of weakness, I signed up for a 6 month subscription to a well known
dating site. I cannot even use alcohol as an excuse, as there wasn't a drop in
my system. I just had a rough week and ill advisedly decided to combine retail
therapy with "taking charge" of my life. I know the rules well; never
make big changes while going through a break up.
My dalliance with
this dating site lasted almost 13 hours and I was sleeping for 8 of them. The
first thing I noticed was that most of the dating selections were outside the
age and distance parameters the site had forced me to select. You can not search for matches on you own. This particular
site uses a self-report assessment to set up your profile and then disregards
all of that information in order to send you possible matches who you have only
the most cursory commonalities with, like say, whether you prefer Chevy
Chase or Bill Murray (an actual question). I really like Bill Murray, but not
enough to ignore a huge red flags. "He thinks
having a child out of wedlock is a sin and believes a woman's place is in the
kitchen, but he really loved Stripes so it's a date!"
Before you can
start corresponding with someone directly, you have to go through the site's
guided communication, which consists of selecting 5 multiple choice questions
from a list and sending them to a match to answer. The only question on the
list I would consider pertinent to my vetting process was "how many books
have you read in the last year?" Every time I received questions, I looked down
the list for a shrug or meh response. Despite intense soul-searching I could muster
strong feelings about restaurant atmosphere and no one should have to choose
between Paris or hiking in the mountains (the Alps and the
Pyrenees and not that far from Paris, surely there's time to do both).
With a premium
subscription (the only one available for a short term contract), you get a
"Book of You" that describes you based on your "strongly
disagree to strongly agree" scale responses to questions you probably
don't really care about. My book apparently belonged to two different people.
One of me was kindness to a fault, giving so much of myself; I should have
footprints on me. The other was a megalomaniac b!tch who didn't give a single
thought to other people as long as she had the spotlight. Now, I am sure I have
been each of these things and many more besides in my life (so there is no need to write in with your examples), but I find it hard
to believe I currently exude both at the same time.
In the light of
day, I realized I had made a not inexpensive mistake. The site promises you can
cancel within the first 3 days of signing up, but it doesn't make it very easy
to do so. I had to dig through several pages of FAQ even to find contact information. My
first step was to email, and though I did receive a response in less than 24
hours, I was told I could not cancel because I was on a payment plan, despite being well within the 3 day policy. I then
phoned to cancel and the customer service rep talked me into a 14 day preview
extension. I asked her to send a confirmation email and while I waited for it,
I started to read reviews of the site that all included failing to cancel and get money back. I worried that, without an email confirmation of the 14 day
extension, I would be outside my 3 day window and so ineligible for a
refund. After a couple of hours I called again and this time was a lot more
blunt and assertive about my desire to cancel. I received my cancellation
confirmation via email and breathed a sigh of relief.
In hindsight, what
a really need most right now is for my credit card to be frozen for online
purchases between 10:00 p.m. and 8:00 a.m. Friday to Sunday. Now, I think
I'll get out of the house for a bit, maybe do some shopping.
2 comments:
Hey Lisa; somehow I came across your blog. I say somehow because even though I have known you for a long time in a peripheral manner, I was somehow unaware of your blog. Perhaps facebook led me to it; I can't even remember at this point. Anyways, just wanted to tell you that you are an amazing writer. I am not an amazing writer, which is why I can't come up with an adjective that is better than "amazing". However, really enjoyed reading this esp. the "Never make a pretty woman your wife" entry.
Thank you Jenn, that is very kind of you. I see nothing wrong with your writing and I know you have many fabulous stories to tell, I've heard a few! You might want to consider your own blog! :)
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