The Best Wingman You May Ever Have is the Bad Date the Girl You Like Is On

Like all good stories that probably shouldn’t be told, this one starts with "I have this friend"…he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s attractive, he’s fit and he likes a lot of the same things I do. We talk, we ride, he patiently and sympathetically listens to me whine about the terrible guys I’ve dated in the past. We’re just friends. Hear that sound ladies? It’s the sound of your buddy’s head hitting the wall.

We all have one, possibly more, cute, funny, really nice guy friends who are always there for us, whose company we thoroughly enjoy. You know the one; he’s the first person you call after a bad date. He’s the one you call after every bad date. He’s also totally into you and he’s waiting for you to wake up and smell the coffee, sister. Well, here’s a steamy cup of espresso for you:

Being involved in or a fan of some very male dominated sports, I have a lot of guy friends, in fact at times my life is one big sausage fest – hold the toppings, they are all just friends. Some of them I have had secret crushes on, a couple of them I dated a life time ago. In either case, I relegated all of them to the friend category and spent time and energy dating men less attractive, less funny, less charming, and less intelligent than my friends.  After my last big breakup and subsequent bad first date, I was so turned off of the idea of relationships I made a New Year’s Resolution not to date for a year. It worked, I was happy. I had the best summer in years, hanging out with cute, smart, attractive, really good guys who were just friends. I was really happy. So happy, in fact, that I forgot about said resolution when an old friend (and crush) invited me out and I discovered much to my surprise that he considered it a date. Things went fine; I didn’t even know it was a date until it was nearly over. I got a little excited (probably from the validation of an old crush asking me out). We had a second date. It all went terribly, terribly wrong. Remember my older blog entry about etiquette? It was pretty much a checklist of everything he did wrong. Seriously, it made me suspicious that he read it and set out to exhibit every pet peeve I have. When I got home, I asked a cute, funny, smart guy friend to go to the pub for his amusement and my catharsis.

As we talked and I related the details of my bad date I realized I had never had a bad time with him. That being around him made me happy, very happy, and then it hit me. Why am I spending valuable time and energy on bad dates and unfulfilling relationships when I was sitting across from someone who was cute, funny, intelligent and already had an excellent track record of making me happy? The answer is, I’m not anymore….and it turns out, he’s totally into me.