Irredeemably Me

I decided, in a moment of weakness, to give Tinder a go. At my age. It was fun for about 30 minutes and then it began to remind me of something from my past – 90’s chat rooms. Some people have fond memories of those old chat rooms, but I could never connect with anyone on them. I’m a silly, old fashioned person who goes outside and doesn’t think a text can replace sitting in a room with someone. If Tinder is truly the app of hook ups, either mine is broken or I’m irresistible to shut ins because so far it has been a high volume of messages back and forth, and then as soon as they write “you’re awesome” I don’t hear from them again. They are really missing out too because I've been described as an animal in bed. Well, I'm a method actor, so if you insist on dressing me up like an alpaca...

It was suggested to me that being a karate instructor might be intimidating to a man of a certain age. When I look at a middle-aged man with a middle spread I see a good looking, lanky guy screaming to get out, break up with me because my best friend is the kind of girl he always imagined himself with, go on one date with her, leave her at the bus stop and then spend the next 30 years complaining to me about each other (I love you both).

Thinking about trying to connect with someone online puts me back to those awkward, no one has a clue what I am on about, experiences of those chat rooms. I found that I wasn't even using Tinder to meet someone, it was just a platform for writing. Didn't I used to have a blog for that?

A lot of press I have seen this week has really annoyed me about how single adults are portrayed. It is still assumed that anyone over 30 and single is a lonely fucker living alone due to some irredeemable character flaw rather than, I don’t know, that they might prefer it because not everyone wants exactly what you have. Though I suppose someone as irredeemably flawed as myself would say that, wouldn’t they? At least there is gender equality in the bias against single people. Cheers to progress.