Passing The Torch

Last Saturday, eight remarkable young people who I have had the pleasure of teaching for the past ten years successfully graded for their Shodan (first degree black belt). What an incredible journey it has been watching these little children grow into young adults - who are all now taller than me.

These kids are disciplined, hard working, successful in several different areas (most are on the honour roll), polite youth. Their etiquette is impeccable, better than most adults I know. They are a tight-nit group who look out for each other. And people still make comments to me about karate being violent and aggressive. My students have never been in trouble because of fighting. How many hockey coaches can say the same of their players? 

I salute these students, most kids don't stick with something for 10 years. Heck, most adults don't make it to black belt. Congratulations class, you did what I didn't think possible, you made me even prouder of you than I already was!

She's Lost Control

Not to be out done by My Namasexual Guy, and foolishly encouraged by the studio (their foolishness to encourage me, that is), I just registered to take the Kids Yoga instructor course. In many ways this feels like a most natural progression as they need kid's instructors and I have 8 years experience teaching children and I love to do it. However, that 8 years of experience was gained teaching kids karate. 

Karate has discipline built into the program. There is order. There are push ups. You may recall that at  5'1", by 11 years old the average child is taller than me. Even by 9 many are looking me in the eye. In a gi (karate uniform) I gain about 6 inches or so of cloth to my slender frame and I use my theatre trained big girl voice to control a room. Plus push ups, did I mention the push ups?

Yoga is the antithesis (see what I did there?) to karate. It is free expression, do as you feel and all those wonderful things. Except, children feel like doing some very freaky and often dangerous things. As I prepare to embark on this journey, I think about all of the outrageous child behaviour I have had to bring under control in my years of teaching karate and I worry that when you strip away the belt, the gi and the push ups, and I am left standing with this tiny shell I inhabit, will I still be able to guide the room without my array of dojo tricks? 

Breathe 

Bicycles, Yoga and Preparing for Battle

I finished the MS Bike Tour Acton-Waterloo 200 km (over two days), despite appalling under training and lived to tell about it! (I also lived to get up and teach a spin class the next morning). Since then I've tried to keep it going with some fabulous night rides under a full and full-to-waning moon with My Guy at my side - magical - another assault on Rattlesnake Point and even a bit of single track on my mountain bike. One cross country ride, in fact, just enough to remind me that I really don't like my Mountain Bike. 

Now, as fall looms and the madness that is teaching 4 beginner karate classes (as well as 2 intermediate and 2 advanced) per week is about to begin anew I take a big breath and prepare for battle. Speaking of battles, I am signing My Guy up for yoga. Not just a class a week, but a full 30 day unlimited yoga package. He knows, he has agreed to go, but he doesn't like it. Only because he's never tried. Likewise, I had dabbled in the odd classes at the community centres where I teach and found it not unenjoyable but nothing that really managed to hook me. Then, finally caving to the constant nagging, goading and pressure from my son, I agreed to try a similar 30 day unlimited offer at a hot yoga studio and I absolutely loved it. So, when I found out my first teacher in there was opening a Power Yoga Canada studio in my city near my work, I was very excited.  When the opportunity to get on board with the Energy Exchange* program came along, I jumped without hesitation. 

I have tried and tried to get My Guy to go to classes (yoga and other) in the past and he has always been reluctant. Fit cyclist that he is, he isn't the most agile and his flexibility is that of a 80 year old man (both my parents, who are in their 70's, have far better flexibility). So the adventure begins, can I turn my reluctant, gun loving, meat eating boyfriend into a yoga loving, flexible as Gumby, Namasexual? In my favour is his cheapness, he hates seeing money wasted so if I pay for it, he'll attend out of obligation to get his (my) money's worth. Working against me is his army training to "hate hippies". I think kick ass flexibility and rising to the challenge of arm balances just might win out over "drop and give me 50 maggot". If not, there's always karate - a little from Column A and a little from Column B...

*For those unfamiliar with Yoga Energy Exchange, most yoga studios have a program for those who cannot afford classes, you work 1 4 hr unpaid shift per week helping to run the studio and you get unlimited free yoga classes plus deals on merchandise. Fantastic opportunity!

Violent Control

For those who have never met me in person, I will remind you once again that I am short...really short...5'1" short. Take a moment to appreciate that and let's move on to the next fun fact, I'm a nidan (second degree) in karate and I teach that art. I do not teach MMA (that is a blog that would not end if ever I did start to write it), I teach one art, Okinawa Goju Ryu Karate Do, the same art I have trained in for over a decade.

Often, when someone learns this about me they make one of the following (dumb) remarks; either they tell me I am too small to be a black belt (Okinawa, the birthplace of karate being filled with seven footers, as it is...), or they tell me they want to fight me. There is a third camp, who tell me that karate is violent. I find the first two just annoying, the third ironic given that it is the people who do not train in a martial art who generally tell me they want to fight me, not the other way around. Anyone who has ever participated in or even watched a karate class will tell you that it is not violent (if it is, run out of that dojo like it is on fire!). Karate when taught correctly, like all continuing education classes, should be about discipline, self mastery, respect, body awareness and awareness of everything around you. 

Having trained with thousands of martial artists from around the world for over more than a decade, I have rarely met one who has been in a "fight" (bare fist, street clothes, outside the dojo), since they started training in a martial art. Go to any hockey arena, football stadium, or fitness centre and I bet you'll find more fighters than you will in the average dojo. Comparing what you see in action films or the UFC is like comparing what goes on at a Greco-Roman wrestling tournament to the WWE. Yes, there will be some "bad" Sensei's and dojos, just like there are bad coaches and teachers, but that is indicative of that particular person and to condemn an entire art form with over 200 years of history because of a few bad practitioners is ridiculous and ignorant.

Karate is no more violent than any contact sport, in fact I would say it is less so as, in realizing your own power, emphasis in teaching is placed on learning to control it. The world would be a better place if more people learned that.

Conversations With My Martial Arts Students:

As another session of karate wraps up for the summer, I am reflecting on the interesting encounters I have had over the years. Here are some of the conversational highlights from my teaching career.

“Please stop licking the walls” (it comes up surprisingly often)

“The style of karate you are learning is not kung fu” (it may not seem amusing to you, but when you have to make that distinction about every 2-3 weeks to the same group it becomes funnier)

“I find it hard to believe that hitting me in the back was an accident when you started at the back of the room and the drill did not include the movement of legs or feet”

“Your question is; what should you do if a Samurai tries to hit you with his sword?” (The answer, of course, is call me or at least take a photo for me – just where are these children hanging out?)

“No, I don’t live in Japan” (bitch of a commute to work that would be! side note, adults have also asked me if I plan to move there and when I respond that I would love to but what would I do, they assure me I should teach karate....in Japan....to the Japanese....I'm sure to make a killing! )

Me: (to students hesitant to do as they are asked) Do you know how to say “no” in Japanese?”

Students: shaking their heads side to side

Me: EXACTLY!

Me:  You don’t want to lean forward when you punch as that will put you off balance. It also brings your forehead closer to your opponent, which we generally try to avoid

Adult male student:  (pointing to his frontal lobe) I’d rather take a punch here (then pointing to his chin) then (sic) here

My teaching assistant:  Looks like you already have

Adult Female Student: (upon my demonstrating the proper pivot for a sidekick) that can’t be right, that looks stupid

Me: My mistake, it’s your 2 second class, I’ve been teaching for 6 years; naturally you know better

Student: I couldn’t believe it, she was dropping c-bomb after c-bomb (I have borrowed the “saying I can’t will get you 20 pushups” rule which I strictly enforce, and thus the phrase “c-bomb” was born)

“It’s not so much that you take off your warm up pants after skipping, it’s the way you make a production of tearing them off in the manner of a male stripper” (dear friend, you are sadly missed)

This one actually occurred in the hallway of a rec centre I teach at. Two guys walked past me, one wearing a "Tap Out" t-shirt, went quite a distance down the hall and then one of them said

"Nice belt, did you buy it at the flea market"
To which my my teaching assistant, without a moment's hesitation, responded
"You tap out so often they gave you a t-shirt, huh?"

Shhh, Let Us Not Spoil this Moment With Questions

There are certain leitmotifs which have been the steady undercurrent of my young (shut up) life. They often take the form of someone attempting to disguise a “witty” (read insulting) remark by forming it into an oh-so-clever and original question. If Taoist philosophy is to be believed, one must give away what one wants to receive so I shall give earnest answers to rhetorical questions in the hope that only authentic conversations are returned to me.

No, I am not related to the Kennedy family. Ok, there might be a thread connecting us somewhere, but if there is, it is a very, very long and extremely weak one. Sorry, I can’t get you an invite to Martha’s Vineyard – you don’t want to go there anyway, it’s full of inbreds.

Obviously I am not a “dead Kennedy” or this would be a séance.

I don’t shop in the children’s section for my clothing, but I sometimes do for my shoes, which I then don’t have to pay taxes on. Who’s snickering now?

I cannot, in fact, just eat and eat and eat and never get fat. You mentioned something about a bet?

No, I do not actually have to register myself with the Police. They don’t care. An interesting urban legend and I have no idea how it got started but as my friend Ben put it, “would that mean if we didn’t register our weapons the police could confiscate them? Let me get the hacksaw; put your arms and legs on the table.”

I can show you what I would do if someone grabbed me like that, but it’s not going to be cute and harmless and you are going to hurt like hell.

No, I am not too small to be a black belt. Are you aware of where karate originated? Screw it, let me go get a map and my power point presentation.... and maybe the hand puppets....