Passing The Torch

Last Saturday, eight remarkable young people who I have had the pleasure of teaching for the past ten years successfully graded for their Shodan (first degree black belt). What an incredible journey it has been watching these little children grow into young adults - who are all now taller than me.

These kids are disciplined, hard working, successful in several different areas (most are on the honour roll), polite youth. Their etiquette is impeccable, better than most adults I know. They are a tight-nit group who look out for each other. And people still make comments to me about karate being violent and aggressive. My students have never been in trouble because of fighting. How many hockey coaches can say the same of their players? 

I salute these students, most kids don't stick with something for 10 years. Heck, most adults don't make it to black belt. Congratulations class, you did what I didn't think possible, you made me even prouder of you than I already was!

If You Want My Advice......

Those of you who irregularly read my blog will know that I work in the fitness industry. I am a certified personal trainer, a Spinning (tm) instructor and a karate sensei. Like anyone else who provides a service, I frequently get asked for free advice by friends and acquaintances alike. I don't mind sharing information, in fact, I generally enjoy it. I work in the industry because I have a passion for it, not to make a lot of money (which is a good thing, because, well, I don't). 

What I do mind are the "...yeah, but..." people. We've all met them, they are the people who pretend to be soliciting your expertise but what they actually want is for you to tell them what they want to hear, and what they really want to hear is, "what you are doing at the moment is perfect, you are absolutely right, don't change a thing." Thus, their response to your informed and considered advice is to offer a well rehearsed list of why your solutions won't work for them, because "...yeah, but..." is almost always followed by, "I can't."

My methods for dealing with people like this have ranged from the fake sympathetic - smile and nod saying things I don't mean like "yes, it's a tough one" while my brain screams, "THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU ASK ME?!?!?", to the patronizing, "naturally, you would know better than me", and on occasion, outright blunt, "look, do you want to be 'right' or do you want to actually learn this?"*. The problem is, I always walk away feeling frustrated that the advice seeker is going to fail when ultimately it is not my problem whether they succeed or not. Why is that? They aren't clients, often they aren't even friends, why is it more important to me that they succeed in improving their fitness than it is to them? Why can't I develop that 'professional detachment' I hear so much about?

Years ago I joked with friends that I was going to write a best selling self-help book and I knew it was going to be a bestseller because I had the perfect self-help formula: take what people are already doing, rephrase it so it sounds different, provide very small easy changes that aren't really changes, because ultimately, that is what advice seekers really want, to find out they are right, but with different phrasing. Now, if only I could get down that not caring part, I'd be rich.....




* This would be the point in the program when my friends would argue, "oh, yeah? What about all those times we gave you relationship advice along the lines of, 'why do you insist on staying with this person who so obviously does not make you happy and is not right for you on any level?' which you completely ignored and continued to whine about how unhappy he was making you for the next year and a half?" And they would be absolutely right. All I can offer is that I am a  slow relationship learner but  I eventually got it right.

Conversations With My Martial Arts Students:

As another session of karate wraps up for the summer, I am reflecting on the interesting encounters I have had over the years. Here are some of the conversational highlights from my teaching career.

“Please stop licking the walls” (it comes up surprisingly often)

“The style of karate you are learning is not kung fu” (it may not seem amusing to you, but when you have to make that distinction about every 2-3 weeks to the same group it becomes funnier)

“I find it hard to believe that hitting me in the back was an accident when you started at the back of the room and the drill did not include the movement of legs or feet”

“Your question is; what should you do if a Samurai tries to hit you with his sword?” (The answer, of course, is call me or at least take a photo for me – just where are these children hanging out?)

“No, I don’t live in Japan” (bitch of a commute to work that would be! side note, adults have also asked me if I plan to move there and when I respond that I would love to but what would I do, they assure me I should teach karate....in Japan....to the Japanese....I'm sure to make a killing! )

Me: (to students hesitant to do as they are asked) Do you know how to say “no” in Japanese?”

Students: shaking their heads side to side

Me: EXACTLY!

Me:  You don’t want to lean forward when you punch as that will put you off balance. It also brings your forehead closer to your opponent, which we generally try to avoid

Adult male student:  (pointing to his frontal lobe) I’d rather take a punch here (then pointing to his chin) then (sic) here

My teaching assistant:  Looks like you already have

Adult Female Student: (upon my demonstrating the proper pivot for a sidekick) that can’t be right, that looks stupid

Me: My mistake, it’s your 2 second class, I’ve been teaching for 6 years; naturally you know better

Student: I couldn’t believe it, she was dropping c-bomb after c-bomb (I have borrowed the “saying I can’t will get you 20 pushups” rule which I strictly enforce, and thus the phrase “c-bomb” was born)

“It’s not so much that you take off your warm up pants after skipping, it’s the way you make a production of tearing them off in the manner of a male stripper” (dear friend, you are sadly missed)

This one actually occurred in the hallway of a rec centre I teach at. Two guys walked past me, one wearing a "Tap Out" t-shirt, went quite a distance down the hall and then one of them said

"Nice belt, did you buy it at the flea market"
To which my my teaching assistant, without a moment's hesitation, responded
"You tap out so often they gave you a t-shirt, huh?"