Respect Anachronism

I’m not generally prone to nostalgia. Quite the opposite, I tend to assume things will continue to improve otherwise what is the point in continuing? I have no use for the days of “good old family values" which allowed a man to beat his family without fear of the neighbours calling the police and saw young women enter university with the sole purpose of getting an Mrs. before their names rather than a designation after it. I do, however, believe in respect and that apparently makes me very old fashioned. Here is my quick guide to etiquette:

Lateness: When you are chronically late you are telling others “I think my time is more valuable than yours and thus it is ok to make you wait.” You may very well think you are more important but that is not how others perceive you. They see you as disorganized, unreliable and flakey. (Kudos to Anna, who is always punctual, if not early).

Mobile phones: Take a lesson from emergency nurses and triage your communication with others. The person who has taken the time to physically be with you deserves top priority and your undivided attention. Next, phone callers and last, texters. Having a phone conversation or texting when you are with someone tells the person who actually made the effort to see you that you would rather be spending time with someone – anyone else. If that is how you feel by all means go spend your time elsewhere, we’ll both be better off. (Shaun, Mike K, Paulina and Jaime thanks for always making me feel like I am the reason you left the house whenever we meet up).

Meals: It is never ok to begin eating before everyone at the table is served. Period. Also, body fluids and dinning spaces don’t mix; when you are around food keep them on the inside. Please excuse yourself to blow your nose; you’ll want to wash your hands immediately after anyway....won’t you? (I wish everyone could experience dinning with Hien, always the consummate gentleman at table).

Baseball caps: They are not fashionable and wearing one does not make you an athlete. Unless you are painting, renovating or it is required as part of your food service industry uniform, take it off indoors. (None of my friends wear baseball caps; they’re a stylish bunch with great hair).

Doors: It’s very simple; he or she who gets there first holds it open for the person behind them even if that person is a stranger. (As a side note, my friend Nick still offers a lady his arm when taking a stroll and yet very much seeks to associate with women who will challenge him. I’m trying to convince him to come to Canada and hold workshops).

Here’s one that is perhaps a little nostalgic and most likely to meet with disagreement. I do miss the days when someone picked you up by getting out of their car and knocking on your door and got out of the car again to say goodbye when dropping you off. A text from the driveway is the digital equivalent of a honk. (I bow respectfully to Jennine and Craig, possibly the last two people on the planet who still do this).

To those of you seeing your manners in this blog (whether specifically named or not), I appreciate your refinement and how wonderfully aware you are. Thanks for being charmingly you.