Domestic Goddess Fire Starter

Once upon a time I was a barely healthy vegetarian, very active but a little lazy in the domestic department. I ate the healthiest pre-packed foods I could find, but alas, they were packaged, processed and all had one flavour - salt. My cooking skills were disastrous. DISASTROUS! Has anyone ever managed to set nachos on fire? I have. Twice.

Don't ask me how I manged either fire, I have no idea. I have prepared nachos thousands of times in my life with little fanfare. Sure, there was an occasional burnt outer layer, but even that was rare. Then one day, flames, smoke and a white stove turned black. Thankfully, what I lacked in kitchen know-how I made up for in emergency response. I calmly wet a few tea towels, opened the oven door just enough and smothered the flames quite easily. I then carried the pan out the back door to smolder and smoke in the back yard and ordered a pizza. I stayed away from nachos for a few months but soon I was back at it and all was fine for a time. The second fire was much like the first and all I can say is that in my incompetent hands, nacho chips are combustible.

Then I met a man who was a little on the traditional side and who criticized my lack of cooking. He criticized a lot of what I did, I tried to improve and impress him, he found more to criticize about. As I said, I'm a slow relationship learner, so I kept trying. Eventually I hit upon cookies. He loved cookies and I was mildly successful in making them so I kept at it even though I don't care for the things. The other irony is I did all this cooking to impress a man who was incapable of eating in public and I, apparently, am a one woman public. Like an idiot I would pack him food to go like I was running a bakery. Eventually I got rid of the bad man (yeah THAT bad man), but I kept up the baking, turning my interest to bread, because boy do I love bread! Eventually I moved to homemade pizza, then homemade everything. 

Now the upside to all this is that my very happy, very wonderful and deserving partner is the benefactor of all my attempts to impress the loser with my kitchen prowess. He thinks I am an amazing cook, that I rarely fail when I touch food. One of his favourite refrains early on in the relationship was, "you sure do know what you're doing in the kitchen". I wonder at how far I've come from the woman who couldn't manage even the simplest of heat up meals without having an emergency plan has managed to impress self-proclaimed "bread people" with a couple of my loafs at a party. A former kitchen hazard has become toast of the town! (ok, I apologize for that appalling pun but I am completely giddy about overcoming my complete lack of belief in myself and actually impressing people with an activity I once feared and dreaded).

So I guess two good things actually came out of that bad relationship - I can cook now! and I met and have maintained an amazing friendship with someone I met through him. Three things, I haven't set fire to my kitchen in ages ;) Oh and now I am a healthy vegetarian.